Well, it was "OK" . . . I wouldn't say "good."

We, like millions of others, plunked down their change this weekend to see "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby."

For NASCAR followers worried about this being a big jab at the fans, fear not: this film mocks racing as much as "Major League" insulted Cleveland Indian watchers.

The unfortunate thing is that funny moments come a little too few and far between. Don't get me wrong; I laughed out loud at times. But, this movie is not that funny overall.

Brevity is the soul of wit, so it's said . . . and this movie spends too much time setting up the laughs. In other words, this movie has some really odd dry spells.

And is this one of those flicks where most of the good stuff is in the trailer? Yep, this is one for sure. If you've seen a trailer and two or three ads, you've just about got it.

Final grade -- C (needs improvement)

Likely fake, but still great

Roaches and flies and rats ... oh my (Where not to eat ver 4.0)

WFMY News 2 -- bringing you all the news you need to know.

A quick look at what's on the menus of some of the finer eating establishments in and around greater Winston-Salem, NC:

• roach on clean utensils and flies
• live and dead roaches and flies
• several live roaches in the kitchen
• rodent droppings in dry storage

Mel Gibson – Hollywood’s bird on a wire

It appears 2006 is the year of living dangerously for perennial frontman Mel Gibson.

Gibson is known the world over for icon entertainment international in scope, but his recent drunken driving arrest launched the chain reaction of events destined to end with a yet-unknown punishment.

While Hollywood is often chided for seemingly rewarding the foolish behaviors of its braveheart children, the screen maverick forgot what you're not supposed to do when facing a tequila sunrise -- getting behind the wheel while drunk turns any vehicle into a lethal weapon (even if you've gotten away with it 1, 2, 3 or 4 times).

And investigators say there is no conspiracy theory behind the manner in which they are dealing with the man who made a fortune delivering exactly what women want. The river of police statements indicate they are not assigning the case to the singing detective.

However, the bounty of insider info coming from those close to Gibson points to someone unsuccessfully addressing an "I-never-promised-you-a-rose-garden" time in his life.

Unnamed sources said they saw signs that Mel's driving stunt was no chicken run -- he may have been suicidal at the time. Whatever his motivation, the unbecoming media attention surrounding his anti-Semitic comments have left the Aussie wishing he were the man without a face.

My prediction: Mel will pay his attorneys a ransom to stay out of the million dollar hotel. Come next Father's Day, we'll all be remembering the patriot for the right reasons, not what the paparazzi would have you think.

The only horoscopes that matter

Gemini May 21 - June 21

"You've always believed fire to be an uncompromising force of nature, but fire will surprise you next week when it respects your wishes to be cremated."

Go here to see more . . . (not safe for the little ones)

What it isn't: "Grand Prix"

I recently watched Steve McQueen's answer to the fantastic "Grand Prix," and I have to say that I was disappointed.

"Le Mans" hit the screen about five years after John Frankenheimer set the standard for Hollywood's vision of auto racing with "Grand Prix" -- a film conceived with McQueen as the lead (which he passed up).

"Le Mans" director Lee Katzin appears to have left his mark in the made-for-TV class of film. He falls far short of reaching the brilliance of Frankenheimer. I would go so far as the say that Lee wasn't even qualified to take Frankenheimer's white-balance.

This film -- one of McQueen's last 10 -- is slow, tedious, underdeveloped and lifeless. There is little to no dialogue and absolutely zero character development.

Even the racing footage is beyond boring. It's a shame to see McQueen's true driving skills wasted . . . especially when you consider that the immortal chase scene for "Bullitt" was released just three years before.

If you think you can't live without seeing this one, Netflix it or come by it on the cheap. You will likely find yourself feeling really weary before you see the checkered flag.

Thanks for flying

A radio version of this story helped me gain a new appreciation for talking without saying anything.

To say that our counterparts in governmentdom have their own rich lexicon of jargon is a big understatement. Take for example this phrase: "runway incursion."

Gee . . . sounds almost harmless, right? Well, consider the official definition and think again:

"any occurrence in the airport runway environment involving an aircraft, vehicle, person, or object on the ground that creates a collision hazard or results in a loss of required separation with an aircraft taking off, intending to take off, landing, or intending to land."

The Federal Aviation Administration even produced this little cartoon to help spread the word that you could be "incursioned" all the way to your local morgue.

For a little more in-depth study of runway safety, you can play with the FAA's online challenge learning tool. (For your information, I failed the first stage of questions with a 54 percent. I cannot land, taxi or otherwise make a plane take off for crap, apparently)

In other LAX news, a guy from Japan was busted for smuggling in some kind of super-rare butterflies. The "two Queen Alexandra's birdwings ... had been sold for $8,500," and the "arrest culminated a three-year undercover investigation by the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service."

Great . . . Thank goodness there's one less butterfly kingpin out there.

Um . . . hello!

Once again a tip of the fedora goes to WYFM (my favorite fount of journalistic tomfoolery) for this:

Man Suffers Collapsed Lung After Alleged Stabbing Incident

Modifier issues aside, the story itself negates the headline.

"One person is in the hospital after a stabbing at a construction site." Nothing alleged about that, so far as I can tell. But wait, there's more: " McCoy was arrested and charged with assault with a deadly weapon with intent to kill inflicting serious injury." Shouldn't they have charged him with alleged assault?

Dear WYFM Newsroom

Allege
Function: transitive verb
To assert without proof or before proving

That is all.